Social judgement is one of the the biggest factors that holds people back.
- “Is this weird?”
- “Is this wrong?”
- “Am I annoying?”
- “What will they think of me?”
- “What do they think of me?”
The list of social judgement can theoretically go on forever. For some people, it does go on forever. However, I know that you are not here to hear a list of judgments. You want a solution.
The solution is this: try to quell your negative thoughts for a moment and take action. You are (often) imagining social judgments that are simply not true.
“We take assumptions for granted. We assume, for example, that the sun will not burn out tommorow. We have great confidence in this assumption because it fits with past experiences and scientifically valid predictions. However, assumptions such as “I should be treated fairly” often prove unsound. In this regard, Albert Ellis has wisely noted: “there is no law in the universe that says things should be fair. It would be nice. It would be nice if life were the way we wished, but we can’t count on such wishes coming true.”
Sometimes, we assume that because we feel intensely about a situation, our intensity validates our perception. Emotional intensity, however, does not validate the perception. For example, a paranoid person who thinks the rabbit in his backyard spies on him and reports to the president of the United States may have intense feelings. But the delusion only serves to intensify the feeling.”
William Knaus, How to Conquer Your Frustrations
If the social judgments are true, then you are probably exaggerating the effect.
[Recommended reading: Anxiety by Jack Johnson]
[Recommended Reading: How to Conquer your Frustrations by William Knaus]